Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai: Oh My!
by Zalentine
Summary: These are some short stories I thought of for your three favorite senseis! And if they aren't your favorite, pretend they are! The setting takes place WAY before canon, and there's a lot of OOCness and crack. If you don't laugh, we'll return your money!
1. Kakashi's Hamster

**Kakashi's Hamster**

Iruka was walking along the street when he noticed Kakashi running into a pet shop. He looked excited about something, and he left the store almost as quickly as he had entered. Kakashi noticed Iruka and waved for him to come over. "Hey Iruka, come see this! It's so cool!"

Shrugging, Iruka decided he'd go see what Kakashi was so happy about. He walked over and saw a small wire cage with a furry animal inside. "Umm…"

Kakashi smiled proudly. "It's a hamster!" He announced."

"I… I see."

"I'm going to name him Gerald!"

"But, that's a western name, you imbecile."

"Oh." Kakashi thought about the name for a moment. "Then I guess I can call him Geraldmaru! C'mon, Geraldmaru! Daddy is going to take you home! Yes he is! Yesss he isss!" He started to giggle and squirm, and this creeped Iruka out to no end. He realized that, he didn't _really_ need to keep going that direction, so Iruka turned around and went home instead.

* * *

The next day, Kakashi was a wreck.

"IRUKA! IRUKA! COME QUICK!"

"Oh boy." Iruka sighed. He had been trying to practice a new Jutsu he learned, but that would probably have to wait now. "What is it Kakashi?"

Kakashi's eyes were brimming with tears. "It's Geraldmaru! He's gone!" Kakashi started to cry. "WHY? WHY DID HE LEAVE ME? GERALDMAAARUUU!"

Iruka rolled his eyes. "I'm sure he's just hiding under your bed or something. Just relax." Kakashi sniffed, and nodded.

"Okay… I guess that's possible."

"Good. Now please, let me finish this technique before class starts." Iruka turned back to the scroll he had been reading directions from, and Kakashi slipped off, probably worrying for his new pet.

Iruka placed his hands together, about to try a shadow clone, when Gai interrupted him. "Hey there, Iruka!"

Iruka's eye twitched. At this rate, he would probably only go as far as Chunin. "Hello, Gai."

Gai looked slightly concerned. "Iruka, I've just noticed, but… why is Kakashi acting so sulky?"

"Well, he got a hamster yesterday, and now it's run away from him."

"That's all?"

"Pretty much."

"… That lucky son of a-"

The rest of Gai's sentence was blocked out by the academy's bell, so we'll never, ever know what he was going to say next.

Iruka blinked.

Gai looked down at the confused, younger student. "I've always wanted a hamster! And now my eternal rival has one, and was even careless enough to lose it?" Iruka shook his head, and they both went to find their classes.

* * *

It had been three weeks since Geraldmaru went missing. Kakashi was still franticly searching for the lost hamster, but he had no luck. He had even been later to class than usual, and Iruka and Gai were starting to become worried.

It was time for an intervention.

"Kakashi," Gai said, "Maybe, maybe Geraldmaru is… on a farm."

Kakashi looked up into Gai's face when he said that. "A… a farm?"

"Yeah!" Iruka added. "He's on a special, uh, hamster farm! Where there are spiny wheels and water bottles everywhere! And he plays with other hamsters!"

This cheered Kakashi up a little. "Are there food pellets there?"

"All you can eat!" Reassured Iruka.

Kakashi smiled. "Thanks, guys. Now I don't have to feel upset."

Gai nodded. "Yeah, you don't need to worry about Geraldmaru. But I'd feel bad for that dead rat on your head."

Iruka glared angrily at Gai. Kakashi's eyes widened with fear, and he pulled out a hamster skeleton from his large, poofy mess of hair. "NOOO! GERALDMARU! SPEAK TO ME, GERALDMARU! SPEAK TO DADDY!"

"Good going, Gai. Now he's going to be even more depressed."

"That's Geraldmaru? So… did he just get lost in Kakashi's hair… all this time… and Kakashi didn't notice?"

Iruka watched as Kakashi continued to shake the little Geraldmaru skeleton. "Wow… I guess so. Should we try to snap him out of… this?"

Gai thought it over. "Nah, at least he hasn't found out about the puppy in his hair yet."

**Next Chapter Summary: Gai learns that newest, hippest thing around is… Pokemon! So what does the trio do? They become addicted to the games, of course! Reviewers get muffins. But I warn you, Kakashi made them last week. **


	2. Gotta Catch 'Em All!

**Hey! I wanted to thank the reviewers, because I wasn't expecting so many replies to this fanfic! Lexxy-hime, HyPerPunnkGRL, InvaderWeb, Haley07, and even tiddarifka and LindyStar!**

**And now, prepare your heads for spontaneous combustion…**

**Gotta Catch 'Em All!**

Gai was sitting in front of his TV one Saturday morning, eating cereal, just like any other kid. He was still in his pjs, which were blue with teddies on them. But that's not important.

What was important was what Gai was watching. There was a commercial break from his cartoon, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and they were showing something so fun, so cool, and so YOUTHFUL, that it compelled Gai to run out to the store in his pjs to buy it. This thing that they were showing was POKEMON. (And as a side note, Gai liked TMNT because the idea of ninja turtles was so darn silly)

* * *

"Kakashi! Iruka! Look what I found!"

"Gai, Kakashi doesn't live at my house. It's just me."

Gai blinked, confused for a moment. Then he smiled. "Of course, Iruka!" He laughed.

Iruka rubbed his eyes. It was still pretty early. "What is it this time? And… are those TEDDY BEARS?" He pointed at Gai's pjs.

The youthful green beast looked down at his feet and mumbled something like, "My grandma thinks they're cute." Iruka raised an eyebrow but decided to just ignore it. Several awkward seconds passed before Gai started talking again. "I wanted to show you THIS!" He pulled out a green Gameboy with a blue cartridge in it.

Iruka stared at it in awe. "Gai… what… what is it?" He breathed, mesmerized by the device's beauty.

"They call it 'Pokemon'." Explained Gai, equally as hypnotized.

"And… what does Pokemon do?"

"…."

"Well?"

"I haven't figured out how to turn it on, okay?"

Iruka looked at Gai in disbelief. "No way! Let me try!"

Normally, Gai wouldn't let Iruka touch his stuff, but Pokemon was serious business, so he let Iruka search the Gameboy for some sort of ON button. He eventually found some kind of switch, and soon there was a DING! And the title "Pokemon: Blue Version" appeared on the screen.

"Iruka! You made it work! You're a hero!" Gai happily hugged Iruka, and Iruka was too busy being captivated by the Pokemon game to be creeped out.

"I have a feeling that you ought to be playing Pokemon: Green Version. You know, since this is Japan."

Gai tried to smile again, but sometimes he couldn't help but worry about Iruka. "Oh, you say the darnedest things." He chuckled. "Let's just see what this Pokemon thing does!"

So ten minutes later, Gai had named himself "MaitoGai", his rival was "KakashiWillLose", and his first Pokemon was a Squirtle named "NinKame". Another ten minutes later Iruka had gotten his own Pokemon: Red Version and had started with a Bulbasaur.

* * *

Kakashi was merrily whistling and walking to the academy, already late. He got to class, looked around, and noticed that Gai was bent over, hiding something. Everytime Kakashi tried to look at whatever Gai was doing, he shifted himself differently, making the task unnecessarily difficult. Then to make things even more confusing, Kakashi saw Iruka doing the same thing! So he went over to them during recess and demanded to know what was going on.

Ten minutes later, Gai, Iruka, and Kakashi, now with a new Pokemon: Yellow Version, were sitting under a tree, not even paying attention to the bell when it went off.

"Geraldmaru used THUNDERSHOCK."

"CRITICAL HIT."

"NinKame fainted!"

"KakashiRulez has defeated MaitoGai!"

"Darn you, Kakashi! That's ten wins, and no losses! How do you keep doing it?"

"Gee, I'm just lucky, I guess." Kakashi shrugged. "Hey Iruka, how about you challenge me now?"

"Alright! It's about time; I've been training Bulbasaur while you guys battled."

Gai looked at Iruka like he was nuts. "You didn't nickname your Pokemon?"

"No…"

Gai continued to stare at him.

Iruka coughed. "It's not a big deal!" He insisted.

Gai shook his head.

* * *

Meanwhile, stuff was happening in the real world.

"OH MY GOD! THE NINE TAILED FOX IS ATTACKING THE VILLAGE!" Screamed a lot of people. Some of them were running around in circles, some were fighting, and some were taking bets on how many survivors would be left. There was much chaos in the Leaf.

* * *

"Geraldmaru used THUNDERSHOCK."

"But it missed!"

"Bulbasaur used LEECH SEED."

"Geraldmaru evaded the attack!"

"This is the worst thing that could ever happen to me!" Cried Iruka, as Kakashi smiled smugly.

"Geraldmaru isn't that easy to knock out!" He warned.

"Watch out for that Thundershock attack, he always gets me with that one!" Advised Gai.

* * *

"Fourth Hokage! You have to do something!" Cried some of the terrified villagers. "If something isn't done soon, the Nine-Tailed Fox Spirit will destroy the entire village! There will be nothing left!"

The Fourth got up from his desk. "How many deaths have there been?" He asked, worried.

"2,486, Lord Hokage."

The Fourth Hokage snapped his fingers. "Not enough! If I stop it now, I'll lose the bet I made with Tsunade!"

"…Lord Hokage… you… made a BET about something like THIS?"

"Well, everyone else is doing it!" He pouted.

"But Hokage, there are more important things in life than-"

Two ninjas, coincidently Iruka's parents, suddenly were killed by the Nine-Tailed Fox. "Make that 2,488, Hokage!" Somebody shouted.

The Fourth Hokage smiled. "Alright! I can wrap things up now!" He said happily.

* * *

Weeks later, things calmed down around the Leaf Village. Iruka woke up one morning to see some men in suits. They told him about what had happened to his parents, said they were sorry to hear about his loss, and walked away, leaving Iruka crushed.

Kakashi also visited Iruka that day, only to find him sitting in a corner and sobbing. "Iruka? What happened? Did… did you lose your Gameboy?" Kakashi shuddered, that was unthinkable.

Iruka sniffed. "My parents… my parents were killed by a Ninetails!" He explained.

Kakashi gasped. "That's awful!" He said. "Don't worry, we don't have to play any more Pokemon games if it makes you feel this way."

Iruka smiled. "Thanks, Kakashi."

That's when Gai came running up to Iruka's house. "Hey guys! You won't believe what I found! It's about Pokemon!"

"We aren't going to play with the Gameboy anymore, Gai. Iruka's parents were killed by a Ninetails."

"This isn't a Gameboy, sillies! This is much more!" Gai showed Kakashi and Iruka what he was talking about.

Ten minutes later, Gai, Iruka, and Kakashi were trading Pokemon cards.

**Next Chapter Summary: … it's a secret! Not really. Kakashi and Gai think about an age-old question, and set out on a quest to find the truth! What is the question? Find out tomorrow!**


	3. The Answer to Life

**Hey, everyone! I was lost on the road of life today… okay, so the reason I hadn't updated in a while is because of some life issues. But I won't stop posting these when I can, because these mini stories, as silly and OOC as they are, stop the stress from chewing me up and spitting me out. I want to thank my readers for getting this far, and the faithful that review my stuff: Mojo817, tiddarifka, UnboundWings, HyPerPunnKGRL, and LindyStar!**

**The Answer to Life**

One day, Kakashi was lying around on his couch, listening to the sound of birds chirping and of Gai eating his food in the kitchen. Didn't he have something better to do? Couldn't he stay home and play with his parents, his family, and leave Kakashi alone? Why, WHY did he always find that package of Oreos right away? All of this was very troubling for Kakashi to think about. Now that he was thinking of it, there were several things he'd like to have an answer for…

"Hey Gai, I gotta ask you something."

Gai immediately hid behind the counter. "HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS HERE?" He demanded.

Kakashi blinked. He thought of all the typical eating sounds he was just hearing. He thought of when Gai had shown up earlier, knocked on the door, and had been let in. He thought of the day before that, when he had asked Kakashi at school if he could come over that day. He thought of the week before that, when they went on a weekend trip with Iruka to Vegas. He thought of how his last thought had nothing to do with his current situation. "Lucky guess?" He suggested.

Gai inspected Kakashi suspiciously, decided that he wasn't a mind reader, and that it really was a lucky guess. "Okay then… SO! What was it that you need to ask me?" He smiled.

"Have you ever wondered what the meaning of life is?"

"…"

"Well?"

"Er…" Actually, Gai hadn't really thought of it.

Kakashi seemed to understand this. "I guess not." He sighed.

"YOU AND THOSE LUCKY GUESSES!" Gai pointed an accusing finger at Kakashi. "Something isn't right about them!"

"Nevermind, Gai. How about we just ask Iruka if he knows?"

"Alright, then." Agreed Gai. That Iruka, he was crazy in the head, but sometimes the crazy parts made sense. Sometimes.

Iruka was staring to get the hang of not having parents. He had soon realized that he could stay up late watching T.V., eat all the sugar he wanted, and set fire to the cat whenever he darn well pleased.

So Iruka was eating some popcorn he had made himself (over the cat) and watching CSI. There was a knock on the door, so he went to answer it. He regretted making this decision when Kakashi stepped in.

"It's you, Kakashi." Said Iruka.

"Me? Just me? I coulda sworn Gai was behind me not two seconds ago… man, that kid's fast." Kakashi continued to stand around, stunned, until Iruka coughed. "Oh right. I wanted to ask you something."

"Kakashi, I already told you, babies come from-"

"NO! No! It was something else."

"Okay… as long as it's not something stupid, like 'Is the Easter Bunny real?'."

"That… that…. That's real mean, Iruka." Kakashi's eyes started to well up. "I can't believe you'd say something like that!"

"This is supposed to be a serious chapter! Don't screw it up!"

"What are you talking about?" Asked Kakashi, still upset.

"It's just, well, I can break the- you know what, forget I said that and ask the question."

"Iruka, what is the answer to life?"

"The answer to life?"

"Yes."

"Wow." Iruka scratched his head. "That's an awfully intelligent question. It ought to have a very intelligent answer!"

"Really? So what is it, then?"

Iruka smiled. "The answer to life, the universe, and everything... Is pancakes."

There was complete silence. (HAH! YOU THOUGHT HE'D SAY 42! ADMIT IT!)

"Iruka, you disgust me." Said Kakashi. He turned around and left. Iruka only shrugged.

"Got rid of him." He decided. Now, what to do? He went into his kitchen to get some cookies to go with his popcorn feast. But when he went into his kitchen, something horrible had happened.

"I JUST BOUGHT THESE OREOS TODAY! HOW CAN THEY BE GONE?"

Then Iruka exploded in Oreo-less agony. Only I made that part up.

**Next time, Gai loses his two front teeth. Now, just imagine how traumatizing that could be for him. How can he be his regular charming self with a gap in the middle of his smile? What will they do? What CAN they do? I doubt they do anything productive, don't you? Find out next time!**


	4. All I Want is My Two Front Teeth

**I want to thank my faithful and very patient reviewers at this time: Mojo817, the Paranoid Android (They were buttermilk Eggos), HyPerPunnkGRL, who obviously likes Oreos on pancakes (that sounds good right now…), UnboundWings, who is faithful to Deep Thought's Ultimate Answer, even through trial and persecution, and Tobi-Uchiha, for seeing Iruka's art of cat-burning as what it truly is. And now, to the part you actually care about:**

**All I Want is My Two Front Teeth**

It was another beautiful morning, thought Gai. Today he had to go to the academy, yes, but there he could always spread the joy of their youth to all of his classmates. First he got dressed, then he ate his breakfast, then he went to brush his teeth.

His teeth were very important to Gai. They never failed to reflect a ray of sunshine whenever he showed those pearly whites, and he knew that deep down, people envied them. You'd have to be crazy to look at Gai, and the first thing you think to yourself be something other than, "My, look at that smile! Doggone, I wish my teeth were like that!" Even blind people couldn't avoid their brightness.

Gai admired his teeth for a few minutes in the mirror. He smiled. He posed with his smile. He finally got out his toothbrush and started brushing.

That's when things got weird.

When he moved the brush across that perfect smile of his, he felt two of his teeth wiggle. The front ones. Gai stopped brushing and wiggled the two misbehaving teeth with his tongue.

They still moved.

"What IS this madness?" Gai asked himself. He tapped the teeth with his finger.

They tilted back.

Alarmed, Gai decided to stop brushing early that morning, and went to run his laps before going to the academy.

* * *

Kakashi was sitting in his usual seat, taking some notes on what his sensei was telling him.

Over on the other end of the classroom was Gai, who instead of taking notes, was poking himself in the mouth. His teeth were still quite loose. He had discovered that if he twisted his teeth enough, he could feel the gums underneath.

Then he twisted them too far.

"And class, that is why it is never a good idea to never shove a bomb kunai in your-"

"OH MY GOD."

The sensei stopped talking. Everyone was now looking up from their papers and looking in Gai's direction. The green beast seemed to be staring at something in his hands, his eyes were wide in panic, and his entire body was trembling.

"Er, Gai. If you want to say something you should raise your hand so I can-"

"I'M FALLING APART! LOOK AT ME! I'M DYING FROM THE INSIDES!" He shrieked. Kakashi gave him an awkward look. Gai sounded like he was having trouble making some of his words sound right.

Their sensei walked over to where Gai was seated and leaned over to see what he was so upset about. After whispering something in his ear, Gai got up and walked out of the classroom. The rest of the class looked at sensei expectantly, but he just carried on with the lesson. Eventually Gai came back with a little plastic baggie, and took back his regular seat until class was dismissed.

* * *

Iruka was taking a walk through the forest until he found a vending machine. He got a snack and turned to head back home, when he realized he couldn't because Gai was standing in the way.

"Where did you come from?" Iruka asked, surprised. "And why are you covering your mouth with your hand?"

"Iruka, you're smart, you're honest! Tell me… is it possible to die from, well… this?" Gai spoke with a lisp, but the author wasn't sure how to write this without making the dialog unreadable. So Iruka was forced to use his imagination to hear Gai talk when he saw the big gap in his teeth.

"So, you lost your front teeth, have you?"

"NO!" Gai looked offended. "I know where my teeth are, thank you!" He thrust the plastic baggie the nurse gave him, where his teeth were kept secure, into Iruka's face. "I wouldn't ever misplace my teeth! Even though sometimes my Grandma does…"

Iruka raised an eyebrow. "O-kay, well, if you know where your teeth are, then go tell your parents about it and put your teeth under your pillow."

"Why, does that help them go back into my head?"

"No Gai." Iruka sighed. "The Tooth Fairy will give you money."

"Oooh." Gai considered getting money in exchange for his teeth. It was a little nerve-wracking.

* * *

It had become late. Very late. It was the kind of late where all those interesting shows came on television. Gai was sitting up in his bed, wide-awake and paranoid. He had secured his teeth under his pillow as Iruka had instructed, but was having second thoughts. What if he never saw his teeth again? What if the Tooth Fairy didn't leave enough money? What if his teeth weren't enough, the Tooth Fairy would have to remove all of his teeth to be satisfied!

The doorknob on his room turned. Gai threw the covers over his head, pretending to be asleep. He wasn't going to let him win! He would attack the Fairy and take all of their money for himself! And as an added bonus, he could keep his teeth!

So when the Tooth Fairy tried to slip it's hand under his pillow, Gai grabbed their wrist and flung them across the dark room. The Fairy screamed in surprise. Gai threw the covers off of his head and grabbed the nearest heavy object; the lamp, and started beating that thieving Fairy over the head and kicking their sides.

"YOU WON'T BE KIDNAPPING MY TEETH!" Gai roared.

* * *

The next morning, Iruka woke up and got ready for school, then walked to the academy with Kakashi. It wasn't long until they both ran into Gai, who was looking shocked.

"Hey, Gai." Said Iruka. "Did the Tooth Fairy go to your house?"

Gai didn't respond right away. This didn't bother Iruka, and he went along his way when he finally said something. "He did… but… it wasn't like I expected. The Tooth Fairy… is my dad!"

Iruka patted Gai on the shoulder. "It's okay, we all find out at some point…"

Then Kakashi covered his mouth like he was sick and started running home.

"Hey!" Iruka watched him run off. "Where do you think you're going?"

"LOCKING ALL MY DOORS!" Came Kakashi.

Gai and Iruka continued to stare as the masked boy ran down the road.

"I can't believe this…" Iruka muttered. Kakashi believed in the Tooth Fairy too…

"Me neither." Agreed Gai. "Do you think this means I'll take over the family business?"

**Next time on Yu-Gi-Oh! Kakashi dreams of soaring through the clouds like a bird! Will his attempts of creating a flying machine work? Well, Iruka and Gai figure they might as well watch. Wait a minute, that doesn't sound like Yu-Gi-Oh! It sounds like Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai! Oh My! They don't even have a trading card game!**

**Also soon to come! A more seriously written- but hopefully still amusing- Christmas special! What happens when Neji acts like a regular Scrooge during the most wonderful time of the year? The spirits of Christmas Past-Youth, Christmas Present-Youth, and Christmas No-Youth-At-All must help the genius see something that his Byakugan cannot. In other words, I'm also working on a fanfic titled "A Hyuuga Style Christmas Carol". Hopefully it'll be out in time, because I'm working really hard on it. I'm so excited! Squee! **


	5. Kakashi's Flying Machine

**Hey, everyone! Today, I've decided to upload TWO chapters! Yay! But why? Well, to be honest, the second idea came to me out of nowhere, and I had to write it. So, I hope this makes you laugh! It's even a history lesson!**

** I'd like to thank my reviewers, for being patient and giving me some idea of how many people enjoy this crack. HyPerPunnkGRL, UnboundWings, Mojo817, Monkiez, Tobi-Uchiha, Selene98, Shiro Ishida, and Beff, thanks for taking the time and reviewing!****  
**

**Kakashi's Flying Machine**

Kakashi looked out his window one fine, Saturday morning. He could see a few white, puffy clouds in the sky. They looked so free, high in the air. There were a few birds, and they happily chirped as they joined the clouds.

"Those lucky birds." Kakashi sighed. "I wish I could fly." Then he was struck with a brilliant idea.

"Kakashi, that isn't going to support your weight. At all." Iruka pointed out from the ground. He and Gai had run to his house when Kakashi had told them his plan. They both looked up at Kakashi, who was on his roof, carrying two wings made out of newspaper.

"What is it?" Asked Gai.

Kakashi smiled down at them proudly. "It's a flying machine!"

Gai was awed. "What does it do?"

Iruka rolled his eyes at Gai's… intelligence.

"It'll make me fly!" Answered Kakashi. "Just watch and learn!" He started to flap his paper wings.

"Kakashi, I think you really ought to-"

But Kakashi jumped off of his roof before Iruka could finish, and plummeted to the ground.

Gai looked surprised. "What happened? Why didn't it work?"

Kakashi groaned from the pain. "I… I don't think I got enough of a breeze!" He got up, and you could hear his spine cracking. "Let's try it again!"

The next day, Kakashi had come up with a whole new plan to fly. So Iruka and Gai came over to see Kakashi jumping up and down on a trampoline.

"Oooh! A trampoline!" Gai squealed. "Let me try, let me try!"

"No, Gai! This trampoline is for science! OBSERVE!"

Then Kakashi jumped as high as he could. It looked like he was flying! "WHOOOO!" Kakashi cheered. Then he crashed somewhere in the distance. Iruka and Gai cringed when they saw an explosion.

"I'll go get his emergency wheelchair." Sighed Iruka.

It was the third day, and a Monday, so Kakashi had all day in the academy to think of his next plan. He remembered some movies he saw, and was inspired to steal a janitor's broom and climb on top of the academy building after school.

Gai and Iruka spotted him as they were walking outside. "Kakashi, what are you doing?" Gai asked.

"I'm going to fly again!"

"Wow!" Gai's eyes started to well up. "His determination is so… youthful! What do you say, Iruka? Don't you agree?"

Iruka stared at Kakashi, stunned. "How did he get out of the wheelchair so fast?"

Everyone else ignored the plot hole and watched Kakashi get ready to jump. "Fly!" He commanded the broom. But, as usual, he fell. Everyone that was there crowded around Kakashi, murmuring. "Why? Why does this happen to me?" Kakashi cried.

Gai offered some helpful advice. "Well, in the movies, that only works for girls."

Kakashi glared at him. "Then would you like to try it?"

So, another day went by. And surprisingly, Kakashi didn't pull any stunts. Another day went by, and still, Kakashi seemed very quiet and uneventful. The week went on, and Iruka was relieved that there was no more talk about the flying machine.

Unfortunately for him, Kakashi invited them all over to his house again the following Saturday. There, in his yard, was a complicated-looking machine with a propeller. Kakashi seemed very proud of it.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Kakashi asked them. "It's the ultimate flying machine!"

Gai examined it and frowned. "Kakashi, I'm sorry, but this… thing… it looks bad. As in it's not good. As in it won't ever work in a million years."

Kakashi lowered his head in shame.

"Besides, Kakashi," Iruka added, "I think it's time to let this whole flying thing go. Humans weren't made to fly."

Kakashi looked like he was on the verge of tears. "Y-you're both right." He sniffed. Then he ran into his house, crying.

Gai glared at Iruka. "Great going, you crushed his dreams!"

Iruka glared right back. "Well, you were the one who told him his machine was stupid!"

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"For crying out loud, you said it was bad!"

"That isn't saying it was stupid!"

"WHO SAID IT WAS STUPID?" Kakashi cried from inside the house. So, feeling it was the right thing to do, Iruka and Gai went inside to apologize.

When they were all in the house, two very depressed looking men walked by. One of them saw the flying machine in Kakashi's yard, and pointed it out to the other.

"It's just what we're looking for!" They cheered with funny-sounding accents.

So they stuffed the huge machine in an equally huge sack and ran away.

And that is how the Wright brothers really got their KittyHawk.

**YAY! Isn't learning fun? Well, isn't it? Ahem, the next chapter is about a classic love for a classic sandwich. But do Kakashi and Gai take it too far? Of course they do!**


	6. Peanut Butter and Jelly

**Peanut Butter and Jelly**

Kakashi and Iruka had been invited to stay over at Gai's house after school, so they were sitting in his living room and watching TV.

"GAI!" Gai's grandma screamed from the kitchen. "GET IN HERE!"

"COMING!" Gai yelled back. He got up from his seat on the couch. "Don't take my seat." He instructed, before going to see what his grandma wanted.

Kakashi put his feet up where Gai had just been sitting. "Ah… that's better." He said.

Iruka looked at Kakashi disapprovingly. "I could've sat there, you know. Instead of being on the floor."

Kakashi giggled. "Ha-ha, that's a good one."

Iruka frowned. "It wasn't even a joke. I'm serious, these people have hard, wooden floors."

Kakashi started laughing again, and Iruka just gave up.

Then Gai came running back in. He seemed too happy to notice Kakashi's feet on his spot. "GUESS WHAT? GUESSWHATGUESSWHATGUESSWHATGUESSWHAT?"

"For the love of… just tell us what!" Iruka was already annoyed by one of them today.

"GRANDMA'S MAKING PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICHES! AW YEAH!"

"Gasp!" Kakashi actually said the word gasp. He sat up, eyes sparkling with excitement. "We're going to have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?"

"YOSH!"

"Let's celebrate!" Kakashi suggested.

So YMCA music started playing conveniently on the TV. Kakashi and Gai started to sing:

"It's time for us to eat

P, B, and J!

Yes it is time for our

P, B, and J!

You take the P, B, and J

You take a knife and you spread

Everything that you've got on bread!

And that is how you make

P, B, and J!

And then you can eat your own

P, B, and J!"

Then the song was cut short because Gai's grandma just walked in with a tray with three sandwiches on it. She was a rather large woman in a fuzzy pink bathrobe and slippers. She wore a very small pair of glasses, and her eyebrows were the size of bricks.

"Here you go, boys!" She said rather cheerfully for her scratchy-sounding voice. "If you drop anything, I'll just make Gai's father clean it up." She turned to leave, muttering something to herself.

"WHOOHOO! PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY!" Kakashi and Gai gave each other a really big hug, then a high five, then a secret handshake, and- you get the point.

Iruka sighed and took a bite out of his sandwich. "Mmm." He smiled. This was actually a really good sandwich!

Kakashi and Gai took a bite out of their sandwiches. They chewed for awhile, then spit the sandwich out.

"EWWWWW! EWEWEWEWEWEWEWWEWEWEWEWEWEEWEWEWWEW!"

Iruka's eye twitched. "EW? EW? ABOUT TEN SECONDS AGO YOU TWO WERE MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICHES, AND NOW IT'S 'EW'? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Kakashi and Gai cowered a little. Iruka glared at them both furiously, until Kakashi got the courage to say something.

"It's jam."

Gai nodded in agreement.

**This chapter had a musical number! But what happens in the next one? Kakashi buys something from Konoha's local toy store, and it's small, it's fluffy, and it... talks! But what is it, and how does it appear so cute, yet so creepy, at the same time? Find out tonight at 11 on your local news program! **


	7. Kakashi's Furby

**Hey everybody! I'm sorry for the delay, but I haven't been able to upload anything. I also have another story up, the Hyuuga Style Christmas Carol! Even if you don't like the idea of another Charles Dickens parody, there's a bonus super-short chapter of "Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai, Oh My!" at the end. Right now, I'd like tothank these people, for their reviews and their patience. Mojo187, Selene98, HyPerPunnKGRL, InvaderWeb, UnboundWings, Shiro Ishida, and Ally1313! For those of you who guessed that the next chapter was about Furbies… you were right! And the difference between jam and jelly is that jam has seeds in it… I think. I don't eat a lot of jam. But anyway, here's the story, and you'll never guess what the next chapter is about! NEVER, I SAY!**

**Kakashi's Furby**

It was a glorious day to go to the toy store, so Kakashi went to buy himself the hottest toy on the shelf: The Easy Bake Oven.

"I want an Easy Bake Oven!" Kakashi told the guy at the cash register.

The cashier, a word which means, "sad person that takes the money but can't keep it all for himself", gave Kakashi a strange look. "Why do you want a girl's toy?" He asked.

"It is not a girl's toy!"

"Well, it kinda is."

"IT IS NOT!"

The cashier blinked. "Um, anyway, we're all sold out of those. They're pretty popular."

Kakashi's eyes became big and wet, like he was about to cry. "But I WANT one! How can I make my special batch of chocolate muffins without it?"

"Sorry kid, but I can't sell what I don't have. How about you pick something else?"

"Hm…" Kakashi scanned the toy store, when he spotted a furry little thing that looked like some sort of mutant owl. "Oh! What's that?"

The cashier squinted to see where Kakashi was pointing. "Oh! That's a Furby! All the kids want one of those!"

Kakashi's eyes became bigger. "Than I must have one!" He decided. So he paid the cashier some money and ran home with his Furby, giggling as he imagined all the fun he'd have.

* * *

Kakashi had finally got home, and he had turned his Furby on, and was looking at it expectantly.

"Feed me!" The Furby demanded.

"Oh! It talked!" Kakashi smiled and hugged his new toy.

"Feed me!"

Kakashi looked down at his new pet and sighed. "But I didn't get the Easy Bake Oven!"

"I love you!"

Kakashi blushed a little. "Aw, how nice!"

"Feed me!"

Kakashi looked a little frustrated. "But what am I going to feed you if I don't have my Easy Bake Oven?"

"Feed me!"

"Shut it!" Kakashi growled, shoving his finger into the Furby's beak to make it stop.

"Mmm. Yummy." Said the Furby, it's beak trying to press down on Kakashi's finger.

"What are you doing?!" Kakashi rescued his finger and glared at the toy.

"I love you!"

"Um, I love you too, Furby."

"Feed me!"

* * *

It was late at night, and Kakashi was all snuggled up in his bed. As he was drifting to sleep, he heard a voice speak to him.

"Peek-a-boo, I see you!"

"WHAT? WHO'S THERE?" Kakashi was wide awake now, and he tried to find the intruder through the darkness of his room.

"Feed me!"

"Oh, good grief." Kakashi sighed. "I just forgot to turn him off!" He got out of bed and found his Furby lying on the floor. As he looked for an off switch, Kakashi realized something horrible.

"It doesn't have an off switch!" Kakashi gasped. "Now what will I do?"

"Feed me!"

"NO!" Kakashi slammed the Furby into his wall. "Let me sleep!"

The Furby said nothing. Satisfied, Kakashi crawled back into bed, and tried to go back to sleep. Then, Furby spoke again.

"You're my friend!"

"Gah!" Kakashi couldn't take it. He got up again, seized Furby, and threw it out his window.

"AURGH! MY HEAD!" Someone outside said.

"Heh heh, takes care of that…" Then Kakashi turned to go back to bed, when he saw… Furby was already there!

"What? I threw you out the window! YOU HIT THAT PERSON IN THE HEAD!"

Furby said nothing.

"Maybe he's finally getting tired…" Kakashi said to himself.

"Feed me!"

Kakashi's eye twitched. "That's it. This time you're toast." Kakashi took Furby, and went downstairs. Then he got into his basement, and threw Furby into the washing machine. He turned the machine on, and watched as it began to fill with water.

"Have a nice spin." Kakashi said, before finally going back upstairs and falling asleep.

* * *

The next morning came, and Kakashi hummed happily to the academy, rid of that Furby for good.

He cheerfully walked over to his cubby hole to retrieve some scrolls he'd need for class, and reached inside to find…

A MILLION DOLLARS!

"Whoo hoo!" Kakashi cheered. He started to do a little victory dance. He threw his hands into the air, and began to sway to the left and right.

Iruka came up to him and looked confused. "Why are you doing a victory dance?" He asked.

"Because I found a million dollars in my cubby hole!"

"Um, Kakashi," Said Iruka, "We use Ryo. A million dollars is worthless."

A frown planted itself onto Kakashi's face. "WHAT? NO!" He cried. "It figures!"

"Um, yeah." Said Iruka. "I'm late for class. See you, bye!"

And he ran away.

Kakashi sighed and threw the money away, to reveal…

"FURBY!" He screamed and ran to class, hiding underneath his desk and sobbing.

Meanwhile, Gai had heard Kakashi, and wondered if he was okay. "Kakashi! Kakashi! What happened? What happened?"

Kakashi sniffed. "Oh, it's terrible, Gai!" He wailed. "It's awful! It's… it's…!" He burst into tears again.

"It'll be okay, Kakashi!" Gai said, pulling his rival into a hug. "Maito Gai is here!"

Kakashi was too distraught to notice he was being hugged. He sniffed again.

"Oh, by the way Kakashi, does this belong to you?" Gai pulled out a Furby.

"Peek-a-boo, I see you!"

That's when Kakashi just about lost it. He started screaming things that were inappropriate for innocent ears, and he stormed out of the academy and went home.

"Geez." Gai rubbed his head. "A simple 'no' works." He looked closer at the Furby. "Hey, little guy! You're so furry and cute! How about you be my friend!"

"Feed me!"

**Mwahahahaha! That was slightly based off of what my Furby would do… he never stopped asking me to feed him, so I threw him in the basement and covered him up with junk. Anyhow, what's going to happen next? Well, there's a new kid at the academy, and Gai wants to make him his rival! What will Kakashi and Iruka think of this, and what will this new kid think of Gai's… rivalry? Find out next time, very soon!**


	8. Gai's New Rival

**Hey! I know, this only took me a day to write, but I really wanted to finish writing it so I could start reading it myself. If that makes sense… Anyway, about the suggestions to put in new senseis… well, I already planned something like that, a few times. But Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai will always be the main characters, and the story will always revolve around at least one of them. Anyway, I want to thank these following reviewers. They have shared the same pain as most of us when it comes to Furbies. Selene98, fifth Cruxis Angel, UnboundWings, InvaderWeb, and Mojo817. I'm sure you guys will all like this next chapter, because I had too much fun writing it. So here it is!**

**Gai's New Rival**

"Attention, students." Said Kakashi and Gai's sensei. He had a nasally sounding voice and a mole on his face. "In case you didn't read the bulletin, I'd like to introduce the new kid in class." He pointed at a young, blonde man, who despite being eight-years-old, was growing a beard. "His name is…" The sensei looked down at the paper, turned pale, and began to whimper. The new student looked up at him, puzzled, when sensei spoke again. "You may be seated over there, sir!" The frightened teacher said, pointing towards the left side of the class. There was an empty seat by none other than Maito Gai.

"Yes, sensei!" Said the kid, taking a place next to the green beast. Gai gave him a "ping!" smile and thumbs up, before class resumed.

* * *

"Now that class is over, how about we spar?" Gai challenged Kakashi. "Or we can do a sit-up contest! Or race around the village: 20 laps! Or play Mario Party!"

Kakashi sighed. "I don't feel like it." He said. "I'm feeling kinda tired, so…"

"Wha?" Gai pointed accusingly at Kakashi. "Are you saying you don't want to be my eternal rival anymore?"

"Um…"

"WELL ARE YOU?"

Kakashi looked a little surprised. "No, I'm just tired."

"Oh, the nerve of you, Kakashi! I can't believe after all these years of friendship, you'd just toss me aside like this!"

Kakashi blinked. "How many years has it been, Gai?"

"Um… let's see…" Gai started to count his fingers. "One…" He tried to think. "Grr… I can't count that far yet!" He growled. "But it's been since as long as I can remember! I'm going to get a NEW rival, and then we'll see how you like THAT!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"Er, Gai," Iruka piped in, "Who's going to be your new rival?"

"Hm." Gai thought about it, until he came up with an answer that satisfied him. "I got it!" He pointed at the new student, who was walking towards wherever he happened to live. "I know! The new kid! HEY NEW KID!"

The new kid turned to see Gai waving at him. "What?"

"YOU ARE MY ETERNAL RIVAL! SPAR WITH ME!"

"Spar… with you?" The new kid laughed. "Do you know who I am?"

"You're the new kid!" Said Gai. "And you must spar with me! I should warn you first, though. I've got a deadly kick. I call it, Dynamic Entry!"

The new kid raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Well I have a special kick, too! It's called the-"

"Hey Gai, didn't your grandma want you home by four?" Asked Iruka.

Gai's eyes widened. "Oh! I forgot!" He started running back to his house. "I'll have to hear that story later, new kid!"

* * *

It was the next day, and the new kid was practicing his kicks when Gai somehow appeared in his backyard.

"Hi, new kid!" Gai gave the Nice Guy pose.

"What the? How did you know where I live?" The new kid asked. Gai just laughed.

"Silly new kid, Maito Gai knows everything! EVERYTHING!" He stuck his hands on his hips and leaned back, cackling evilly. It was very sinister-looking. Lightening struck in the background.

"Um. How did the scene change behind you so quickly?" The new kid asked.

"Huh? Oh, it just does that all the time. I think it's a family trait. Comes with the eyebrows." He pointed at said eyebrows, and winked.

"Er, okay then. You're weird." The new kid tried to go into his house, but Gai stopped him.

"WAIT!" He said. "We didn't have time to spar last time we met, so we need to do something else to make up for it!"

"Like?"

"Um…" Gai tried to think of something. "Oh! I know!" He pointed dramatically at the new kid. "NEW KID! I challenge you… TO A GAME OF MONOPOLY!"

"M-M-Monopoly?" The new kid stuttered.

"YOSH!" Gai gave the thumbs up. "I EVEN HAVE THE LORD OF THE RINGS EDITION! Unless you're more of a Candy Land person… my grandma still has ours in the basement somewhere…"

The new kid began to sweat-drop. "Er, no need to drag it out! I'll play Monopoly! Just get off of my property!"

"YOSH!" Gai said again. Then he grabbed the new kid and ran to his house to play Monopoly.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kakashi was in his room, reading a book.

"NO!" Kakashi wailed. "WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN?"

Iruka, who had just arrived to tell Kakashi something, wondered what he was talking about. "What always happens?"

Kakashi, still teary eyed, showed Iruka his copy of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix".

"EVERYTIME I READ THE BOOK, SIRIUS DIES! WHY? WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN? AM I JUST THAT UNLUCKY?" He wailed. "And…. I even try to perform resurrection spells, but even when I think I did them right… I OPEN THE BOOK AND IT STILL SAYS HE DIES!" He grabbed a pillow on his bed and sobbed into it.

"Kakashi, you are officially really stupid." Iruka shook his head. "But anyway, I had something to tell you."

Kakashi looked up. "What is it?"

"Gai said he's having some kind of sleepover. And everyone is invited. Everyone except for Kakashi. Because Kakashi is a big fat meanie who doesn't want to be his rival. So nyah." Iruka sighed. "Also, Gai's not talking to you."

Kakashi put his book down. "Oh, so he's being like that, is he? Then who's going to his house?"

"I don't think anybody is." Said Iruka. "Except for the new guy." He sighed. "Gai's going to get himself hurt if he keeps trying to be rivals with him. Do you know who he is?"

"No. Who?"

Iruka told Kakashi, but the wind blowing into Kakashi's window made it hard for the readers to hear… er… read… what he said. Kakashi's eyes widened with fear.

"Oh no!"

* * *

"I landed on The Shire. So I collect 200 monies for passing Go and pay nothing, since this is my property!" Gai smiled. "It's your turn, rival!"

"Fine." The new kid rolled the dice, and one of them showed the Eye of Sauron. "Oh look, the ring moves to the next property square, which is Mount Doom! The game is finally over!" The new kid laughed in relief.

"YOSH! I WIN!" Cheered Gai. "That means one win for me, and none for you! I'm ahead!"

The new kid sighed, and then took the board and chucked it across the room. "Can I go home now?"

"No!" Gai chuckled. "We're going to play Guitar Hero now!"

"What? I don't want to play Guitar Hero!" The new kid protested.

"GAI! GET DOWN HERE!" Came Gai's grandma's voice. "IT'S TIME FOR DINNER!"

"YAY!" Gai grabbed his new friend and ran down the stairs. "I sure hope its curry!"

* * *

"C'mon! We need to warn Gai he's in danger!" Kakashi urged. They were both running towards Gai's house, and Iruka was lagging behind.

"I'm coming!" He called. "I just can't believe he's still alive in the first place!"

* * *

"Now that dinner's over, we can start playing Guitar Hero!" Gai said. He went to turn his PS2 on.

"I don't like Guitar Hero!" Said the new kid, crossing his arms.

"Why? Do you like Rock Band better? I TOLD my dad we should've gotten it instead!"

"NO!" The new kid looked seriously mad. "I'm sick of doing these stupid games!"

Gai smiled. "Are we gonna spar?" He asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Spar? Oh, we'll spar all right…" The new kid said menacingly.

"YOSH! LET THE POWER OF YOUTH EXPLODE!" Gai ran towards the new kid, and punched him in the face, causing him to fly back.

"What the?" The new kid felt dazed.

"Take this! Leaf Hurricane!"

"Arurgh!" The new kid flew into the air. Gai was too fast!

"And now… DYNAMIC ENTRY!" Gai kicked the new kid in the face, and sent him flying out the window.

"AHHHHH! I WANT MY MOM!" He sobbed, sailing through the stars.

"Gai! Gai!" Kakashi and Iruka kicked down his door and ran into his room. "Are you alright?"

Gai looked out his window, and blinked. "He fights like a little girl." Gai decided. "Kakashi, you fight better than that! So from now on, you are my eternal rival again!"

"What?" Kakashi looked surprised.

"Gai, did you… did you win that fight?" Iruka asked, amazed.

"Of course I did! I'm Maito Gai!" He gave the Nice Guy pose.

There was an awkward silence for several minutes, until Kakashi decided to break it.

"D-did you even know who that was?"

"Not really. I never got his name…" Gai sighed. "Why?"

Iruka answered him. "Because that was Chuck Norris."

**Next time when we meet our heroes, there's a pageant going on in Konoha! Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai all enter, and the stakes are high as they compete to see who's the best… but what kind of pageant is it, and who will win the trophy? Find out… when I post the new chapter!**


	9. Konoha's UnTalent Show

**Hi! Yeah, I know, its been awhile, huh? I'm so sorry! I've been kinda busy lately… I'm trying to get into a weekend camp, and it's mighty expensive. But I'm glad you've waited! For now, I present you with a long-awaited chapter! I also want to thank the following people for reviewing the story, these guys are awesome! InvaderWeb, Selene98, HyPerPunnKGRL, Meira Evenstar, Everybody's Neesan, Mojo817, UnboundWings, Tobi-Uchiha, and Kaira-chan15. This chapter is probably the closest thing to a musical my fanfiction has ever been.**

**The Konoha (Un)Talent Show**

It was a regular day, just like every other day. Okay, so that's a lie. It wasn't a regular day. Because today, Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai's senseis had a special announcement.

There was going to be a talent show.

"We need to raise money for the village since recent attacks." Explained one of their teachers. "So we're making you do something that everyone will want to see!"

"And if you don't," Added another, "We're going to do the worst thing we could possibly do!"

Everyone had gasped. "What's that?" Someone asked.

The sensei opened his mouth to tell them what their fate was, but a bus drove by so no one heard him anyway.

Iruka was the only one confused. "What's a bus doing here?" He asked. "We don't have proper roads for them!"

But nobody was paying attention to Iruka's logic, because they were all discussing the talent show.

"Hey, Kakashi!" Gai said. "I bet I can beat you in the talent show!"

"There is no "U" in talent, Gai." Said Kakashi.

Gai looked frustrated. "AND THERE IS NO "I" EITHER!" He retorted.

"My point exactly." Kakashi smiled.

Gai's eyebrows slanted down, making him look angry. "Oh, so you think you're all that because you can spell? I'm not stupid, you know!"

"Then why is there a "U" in stupid?" Kakashi asked.

"HEY! DON'T FORGET THE "I"!" Snapped Gai. Then he realized he was outsmarted again. "Oh… oh… well, there is no "I" in ugly, but there's a "U"!"

"Well, its better to be ugly than to be stupid, like you."

"I think this is the most educational chapter of the whole series so far." Remarked Iruka.

"Darn you, Kakashi! You're so cool!" Gai fumed. "I'm going to win this contest, and if I don't, I'll eat 500 packages of Double Stuffs and watch sad tear-jerker movies for hours!"

"Why are you telling us that?" Iruka asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Because that's one of my rules!"

"Um. Nevermind." Iruka sighed. "Let's just get ready for the show."

* * *

So cue the training monologue music!

Iruka is kickboxing, then he's running through a field with weights in his hands, then he's balancing himself on water, then he's saving a baby whale from a whirlpool, and then he's writing a huge check to an orphanage charity.

Gai is playing DDR against random mall rats, then chasing an ice-cream truck, then playing hopscotch, then flying to the moon and confirming it's not really made out of cheese by biting one of the rocks, then rescuing a kitten from a burning building, and then eating Oreos on the couch.

Kakashi got lost on the road of life and just slept through his training monologue.

End training monologue.

* * *

So, the day had come for the talent show. Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai all came in through the window, for no apparent reason.

"Why do we let Kakashi pick the entrance?" Gai asked.

"Because you always insist on coming from the ceiling." Answered Iruka. "At least this way we don't damage the property."

"AHEM!" They turned to see an angry looking doorman. "Am I INVISABLE to you?"

"Holy cow who's there?" Kakashi squeaked.

Then, a bunch of other kids who had seen the trio enter through the window all thought it was a good idea too! So soon everyone was crawling in through the window, making the doorman more and more irritated.

Nearby, a panel of judges waited for the contest to start.

"Let the show begin!" Somebody announced.

* * *

The first of the three to be picked had been Kakashi, who was after some girl who thought swallowing flaming swords was a talent. Pft, what an amateur. Kakashi had REAL talent!

"Hey, everyone." Kakashi said, putting the mic to his face. "I have written a poem!"

Everyone was quiet, and allowed Kakashi to pull out a piece of paper. It read:

Roses Are Red

Violets Are Blue

Gai is Stupid

And Iruka is Too

Then he bowed and walked off the stage. The judges looked awkwardly at eachother.

"THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!" Sobbed Gai. "He wrote a poem about us!"

Iruka glared at Kakashi, who was sitting down backstage.

* * *

After several other people, it was Gai's turn. "I have also written something!" He announced. "I have prepared… a song!" Music began to play, from Mel Brooks' "Robin Hood" movie. Gai had changed the words to suit him even more than the original lyrics did.

I'm Gai

I'm Gai in tights

I roam around the forest looking for fights

I'm Gai

I'm Gai in tiiiights

I stick to my rules, for my ninja way

That's right!

I may look like a pansy

But watch what you say or else

I'll put out your lights!

I'm Gai

I'm Gai in tights

Always on guard, defending the people's rights!

I'm Gai

Manly Gai!

I'm Gai in tights

Yosh!

I roam around the forest looking for fights

I'm Gai

I'm Gai in tiiiiights

I stick to my rules, for my ninja way

That's right!

I may look like a sissy

But watch what you say or else

I'll put out your lights!

I'm Gai

I'm Gai in tights

Tight tights!

Always on guard, defending the people's riiiights

If you're in a fix, just call

For the Gai in tights!

I'm youthful!

Then he flashed a nice guy pose before going backstage to brag to Kakashi. Once again, the judges seemed stunned.

* * *

Finally, not long after that, it was Iruka's turn. He cautiously approached the microphone, and cleared his throat.

"Um, I unfortunately wrote something as well." He said. "I have written a song, so… here it goes."

Calm music began to play, as Iruka began to sing his original song.

"Oh, the days they seem so long

Since the day that you've both gone

And now I'm trapped

In a world without your love

The seconds seem like hours

And I wonder if you have the power

To look down upon me

From your new home up above"

"Laaame." Kakashi muttered to Gai.

"If Heaven is understanding

Then why did it call for you?

When I'm still on the Earth

Was their only room for two?

Now I'm on my own and I

Have never felt so scared….

Oh yeah…

I've never felt so unprepared…

Oh yeah…-"

Suddenly, his song was interrupted. "OH YEAH!" Screamed the Kool-Aid man, crashing through one of the walls. People got up and started to scream and run for cover, while the doorman looked like was about to explode.

"THAT'S IT!" Cried the doorman. "I QUIT, SINCE NOBODY USES THE DOOR ANYMORE!" He stormed out through the hole in the wall.

Iruka looked sad, since that song had been lovingly written for his dead parents. He walked off the stage, letting the judges decide the winner.

* * *

"The winner will be announced by the Hokage!" Said a judge, after a long time of… judging.

Then the Hokage walked in through the window. "I thought we hired a doorman!" He complained. "Anyway, the winner is that kid." He pointed at Kakashi. "That poem was the deepest thing I've ever heard. Okay, everyone can go home now."

The stage was soon empty, all except for Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai. "WHY?" Iruka shook his fists at the air. "I worked so hard!"

"Well, looks like you didn't win, Gai." Kakashi snickered. "What does that make you now? Because there's an "I" in winner. But there is no "U"!" He bragged.

Gai, with all seriousness, answered. "At least I'm still better looking."

"OH YEAH!" Said Kool-Aid man.

Iruka slapped himself on the forehead.

**The first time I heard the "Men in Tights" song, I knew it was about Gai… anyway, in the next chapter, they all go to Iruka's house, and play with a Magic 8-Ball. What kind of questions do they torture it with? What answers await them? Find out in the next thrilling chapter!**


End file.
